new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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