Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
