You smell like stripper and shame
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize