yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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