never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
