I hate your face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
