I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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