Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
