If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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