Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize