do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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