Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
