Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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