The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
