The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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