Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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