i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
