nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize