Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
