I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize