Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So many bounce houses so little time
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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