i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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