i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
