How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
