P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
