if you like me you must not know who I am
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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