I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
