still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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