I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
