We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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