Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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