I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your cock deserves a montage
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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