that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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