dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Say something about gay babies.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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