One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
