THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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