Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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