You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
