My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
