I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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