brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
