I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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