i was born a porn star she said
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize