Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
