the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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