Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize