Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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