I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize