Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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