I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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