i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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