I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
