VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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