Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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