Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
