Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
