so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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