Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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