I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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