just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
