We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
